Solving The Annoyed State of Mind

Long days of cruising down the roads in Bali.. From factory to fabric market, from my beanie hero back to another factory. It sounds sexier than it actually is though. Full on traffic, bikes crossing from left to right, the occasional gravel and let’s not forget the water and construction trucks that bombard their way through the streets. The other day I noticed that I was just really tired and agitated so since I was too late for a surf I decided to get a massage. The luxury of staying here is that a € 4,50 massage of an hour will fit your budget quite easily. So off I went.

My state of mind was weird. Like really weird, I was happy to have had quite the fruitful day of meetings but I was also angry. No idea where my anger was targeted at but it was rather uncomfortable. A massage would make it all better, right??. But nah, it became one of the strangest massage-experiences I ever had. The girl was in a rush and if you are half-naked on a table with rushed hands on your back, you feel awkward.. Her nails dug into my arms, my tiny bum, my legs and I actually almost feared open wounds. Luckily, she dumped such an enormous amount of oil on me that her nails and knuckles could not find grip onto my sun-kissed skin.

It was actually hilarious, now I look at it on hindsight. Every time she started with a new body-part, my anticipation of what this body-part would experience decreased. I just wanted it to be over with. The poor girl. Really, I should not have been on that table. I was just too tired and my head was running race-tracks with thoughts. I could not relax and the girls massage approach literally left me with such annoyance that my state of mind was probably even worse than before I stepped foot into that “spa”. My lesson was learned, I should have listened to my own state of mind and just drive home and take a dip in the ocean, just get salty. That is my cure of understanding what is happening in my head. The ocean literally soothes my soul and thinking massages would do the trick was clearly an illusion.

Tuesday Tunes – Teach Me

Thank you Bakermat. Love this song, love the video and what it means. Get out there, grab a couple of waves and remember to keep wandering.

Have an epic Tuesday!!

Tuesday Tunes – Crazy

It’s not very often that I like covers, but surely Daniela Andrade did quite the job with this cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy. My new wake up song.

Have an epic Tuesday.

Tuesday Tunes – Expectations

Sometimes I get introduced to a new artist or song and it literally gives me goosebumps. That’s what I had when a friend played this song the other day. Brika has such a soulful voice that you would expect her to be bigger or maybe even darker. Just pure soul that I love listening to while chilling at home, reading, writing while sitting in a hammock.

Have an epic Tuesday!!

 

If You Don’t Go, You Don’t Know

One of those mottos that actually works for everything in life as far as you ask me. Whether you are headed to a job every day that you don’t like and flirt with the idea of quitting, whether there is a six ft. wave approaching and you’re overwhelmed by it’s magnitude, or whether there is that someone you like but are in doubt whether it is mutual. If you don’t go you really don’t know.

It is all about taking a risk once in a while. Asking that question: “Will I regret it later on?” Most of the time you will (or at least I do) and in the end what is the worst that can happen: you have to find a new job, get washed and get smashed by a couple of big sets on your head or be rejected by someone. We mainly make the safe decision out of fear, self-doubt and/or insecurity but do you really want these emotions to decide for you where you are headed to in life. Nope, right…?!?

I reckon there are way worse things that can happen than finding a new job, getting smashed or being rejected. Bigger failures were survived and as mentioned quite some times before, you get back up, you will really get back up. The fall will only make you stronger and grow. So I decide to just go, because you never know what can happen: A life on an island, the biggest wave of my life or closer to the person that you really like.

Tuesday Tunes – Lose It

The last few days “Oh Wonder” has been comfortably waking me up and “Lose It” is my favourite. I can literally lose myself in this spacy-chill-out indie style of music.

Have an epic Tuesday and don’t forget to check out their other tunes.

Different Paths & Different Baggage

The amount I learned this last year is almost too much for me to really wrap my head around. And my head  likes to wrap itself around stuff all the time. I like clarity, real and tangible shit, not the floating around in kumbaya-land. The mind can play so many games with you. My mind can be one big blur filled with memories, feelings, experiences & imprints. Some of them growing out of proportion to an extent that it is sometimes hard to figure out what is real. My past influenced my present, but not my future. Each one of us has the capacity to change those mind-fucks around and step into a future that is one you deserve. I have been on a long journey, created habits that were not always good for me and with that came the insecurity, the feeling that I was not loveable. At a certain moment it almost felt as if I have always been like that. But I was feeding my own insecurities, neglecting the good and focused on the negative. I reckon for some of the people that know me, that might be difficult to understand. Funnily enough, it has always been part of me, I have not been wearing a mask, my mind was stronger than my insecurities. Like I can ignore physical pain, I have taught myself to ignore that annoying little voice: Don’t be a sissy, be strong, it is just not there. In some sort of way that “survival” mode made me where I am today. I fought my battles of which I know there will be mor. On the other hand, neglecting, ignoring and putting feelings and experiences away, also made life occasionally pretty damn excruciating.

Living the life I live now though, allows me to dive deeper into me. I reach out into me and ask questions. Why do I act and react in specific ways? What is the reason why my feelings head down a roller coaster when someone says no? Why do I have the feeling that I need to deserve my space (on this earth, on a party, in the ocean)? It can be quite the trip sometimes, but I have approached it with a smile (big smiles). I also do not get all the answers and I learn to accept the unknown. Each one of us, is just a human, nature vs. nurture, walked different paths with different baggage and some even with excess baggage. So don’t judge. Not others but especially don’t judge yourself.

 

 

Tuesday Tunes – Sunny

This is one should be on your summer playlist. I already loved Ayo but this one tops the list as of this week. While wandering on my scooter through Bali, this song always puts a smile on my face.

Have an awesome Tuesday.

 

Saturday Chronicles with Crispijn

We really wanted to share the website and Facebook page of Crispijn as they really inspired us, so they might possibly inspire you as well. Check them out below:

• Pranaliving – find information about Pranaliving and the thoughts behind Crispijn’s approach. Also check out his book “Het Hormoon Geheim” (sorry only in Dutch)
• Pranaliving Facebook
• Facebook Crispijn

Tuesday Tunes – From Me To You

If you ever want to hug someone from a distance, give some support or just know someone you are there even though you are on the other side of the world, this song should be your message. Don’t text, don’t mail just send this song and the other end will know exactly what you mean. Oh and of course some credits to Ane Brun.